Thursday, February 11, 2010

Survivor gone wrong

I love Survivor from the start. But after seven seasons, just as it was wearing thin, producer Mark Burnett made his first huge blunder: Survivor All Stars

Awful. It was quickly apparent how surprisingly uninteresting the contestants were. They appear so interesting on the show, because the situation is so interesting. It forces them into really tight situations, and reveals a great deal about them, about us. The situation is manufactured, the responses are not.

Plus, the producers cast well. They gather an eclectic mix of people, most of whom are expressive and many of whom have something worthy to express. It's fascinating to watch them evolve for awhile. For about 13 weeks.

Damn. Mark Burnett has great instincts most of the time, and one of his best was gauging that right from the start. Thirteen weeks is right about the limit that he can keep these people interesting, no matter what he inflicts them with.

They are more or less ordinary people--loud in personality, but not particularly deep. None of them were rocket scientists (for real) or artists or thinkers. There was a reason none of them were famous. They were great to watch for a season, and then . . . I hope their friends enjoy them.

All Stars didn't lose steam halfway through the seaons, it opened dull and flatlined all the way to the end. It was shocking how bland that first episode was. Within twenty minutes it was obvious there was not one damn thing we were going to learn about these people.

CBS had tried Survivor reruns and Survivor DVDs and they had failed miserably. This was worse.
It survived in the ratings that year, but lost a lot of momentum. If ever there were a shark-jump, this felt like it.
To my great surprise and delight, though, the producers must have done some brainstorming, because they started adding new elements which finally broke the alliance system--or shot it up enough that it was no longer predictable--and made it interesting again.

In bone-headed move #2, they repeated half the blunder in season 16 with the dismal Fans vs. Favorites. At least half the contenstants were new. Not nearly enough.

And tonight, just after just three regular casts, we get what promises to be The Worst Survivor Ever. Rerun season #3. Many of them are actually returning for the third time. What?

Add to that the supposed Heros/Villians theme. Apparently Villain = annoying dick, and Hero = a) hottie with a heart or b) annoying smug asshole. (With exceptions. Cirie, for example, was an authentically likable person, who wasn't trying to be.) Survivor-Cirie

I know a lot of people watch the series for the villains, and they do add drama, but the age faster than bad sushi. Their value lies merely in the effect they have on others, and I can't wait to see them voted off fast enough--so I don't have to see them again.  Second sight of them is a particular mistake.

Boston Rob, one of the dullest, one-note villains the first time has bored us through two seasons of Survivor one of The Amazing Race, and a two-hour CBS "special" on his marraige to the lethargic Amber.

Even the so-called favorites are typically over-rated and way over-exposed the first time. Rupert, for instance. Blech. I didn't buy your pirate shtick the first time, buddy.

Then there are a few hapless fools the producers just didn't  seem to know what to do with.  Tyson was hardly a villain, but what were they going to do, created a Dorks team?

He seemed like an incredibly repressed guy without identifiable personality trying desperately to prove how wild and crazy he was by pulling his pants down. Ok dude, we get it. You wish you were the life of the party. Now you're a naked boring guy. And really annoying, and full of yourself.

The only intesting part about Tyson was to watch how jealous Brendan made him--Brendan actually having the charm and wit he desired. It was like watching Gollum covet his precious. It was a perfect contrast, because the same season, Coach was equally envious, but blatantly open about it, while Tyson laughably try to hide his.

So. Why is Mar Burnett they trying to kill his show?

How bad can it get? Worse than I can picture right now, I'm betting.

I might have to watch this season just to make fun of it, though it's a lot more interesting when the show is actually interesting.

3 comments:

  1. I disagree about Boston Rob, but I have a feeling that in my secret heart, he's totally my type. Let's not examine what that says about me. :)

    I am worried about this season - I put it on the tivo this morning because I always watch Survivor. It's outlasted every single one of my adult romantic relationships. But I'm not excited like I usually am.
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  2. Dude, gotta disagree. Best opening to a season yet. Bringing back favorites is a sure fire way to keep us real Survivor fans glued to the tv. Russell, Coach, Rob, Colby, JT, Courtney, Parvati, Cirie... it's great. I agree you need a balance, but I think this season is going to be great. Don't like everybody on the show this year but I like 90%.
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  3. I disliked Cirie the first time she was on. Was annoyed they brought her back a second time. Think I HATE her inclusion this time!
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